🌱Do You Have "Intermittent Invisible Social Anxiety"?
Author: Nisha Chao Instagram
Let's Connect: nisha0107@gmail.com
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Because I do.
Ever heard of "Intermittent Invisible Social Anxiety"?
No?
Good—because I made it up.
Why invent a new term?
Sometimes, putting a name on it is actually the gentlest way to catch yourself when you’re falling.
I have a friend who used to struggle a lot with being shy and quiet.
Then one day, she discovered the concept of being an "introvert"—and suddenly, she could breathe easier.
She could finally accept herself, and it helped others understand her too.
So if giving yourself a label makes life a little softer and the world a little easier to explain, why not?
(It’s not like it’s a tattoo—you can rip it off anytime you want.)
So... what is "Intermittent Invisible Social Anxiety"?
In short:
It’s the kind of social anxiety that shows up randomly—and hides really well.
A little more broken down:
Invisible: You hide it like a pro. Outsiders rarely notice.
Intermittent: It doesn’t happen all the time—just sneaks up on you now and then.
Social Anxiety: Deep fear of connecting with people, strong preference for staying solo.
When Did Mine Start?
Probably around third or fourth grade.
I started dodging family gatherings.
Stopped answering calls from classmates.
(Yes, back when people still called.)
What Happens During an Episode?
Three main scenarios:
1. Silent Mode: ON
Don’t wanna talk.
Don’t wanna listen.
Don’t wanna text back.
Mentally vanish.
2. Insecurity Overload
If the vibe feels cold, excluding, or tense, I get so nervous I can’t even breathe, much less talk.
But if the group is too welcoming—if they like me, praise me, admire me—I still freak out inside, screaming:
"Please don’t like me too much!"
3. Language Crash
Want to say something, but brain freezes.
Want to connect, but stuck between being real and wanting to be seen a certain way.
Result? Either sweat awkwardly... or force out a version of myself that looks polished but feels fake.
If that sounds weird, think of it like this:
You really want to invite friends over, but your house is messy.
You’re torn—should you clean up first?
If you do, it doesn’t feel like you.
If you don’t, you’re scared they’ll be shocked.
That inner tug-of-war?
That’s everyday life with intermittent invisible social anxiety.
When Does It Happen? How Long Does It Last?
Totally random.
Sometimes just 5 minutes.
Sometimes a week or two.
Typical stages:
Before an event: Motivation to leave the house = 0. Instantly come up with 100 reasons to stay home.
During an event: Crowded? Overstimulated? Internally screaming: "Can I leave yet?!"
Throughout the event: Stay anxious from start to finish, but weirdly still want to be part of it. So... coexist with the discomfort.
After an event: Escape like a ninja. Avoid eye contact like my life depends on it. Zoom off faster than you can say bye.
Little Tricks I've Learned to Survive
Arrive right on time or 3 minutes late: Too early = extra small talk = no thanks.
Wear slip-ons or sandals: If it’s a shoes-off event, easier to make a quick getaway.
Sit near an exit: Always have a clean escape route.
Take the stairs: Avoid the elevator small talk nightmare.
Drive myself or ride a scooter: No awkward "walk to the metro station together" moments.
(Record holder moment: once climbed 12 flights of stairs just to dodge an elevator ride.)
Is It Exhausting?
Yeah.
A lot.
Wanting to connect but being terrified of it?
It drains both your body and soul.
Will It Ever Go Away?
Honestly... I have no idea.
But I’ve found a few ways to make it easier to live with:
Be honest about how I’m feeling
(Saying things like, "I’m feeling a little uncomfortable," "I’d like to leave," or "I’m feeling shy" helps a lot.)Choose activities and groups carefully
(If every outing risks triggering an episode, might as well pick places and people that are worth it.)Focus on breathing and where my attention goes
(Instead of obsessing over how I’m acting, I try to pay attention to the people and moments around me.)Personal therapy
(Exploring my deeper "safety triggers" with a professional has been life-changing.)Stop comparing myself to others
(Everyone connects differently. I don’t have to measure myself by someone else’s ruler.)
One Last Thing
Recently, I stumbled across a line that hit me right in the heart:
"I wasn’t born to fit into this society—
I was born to enrich it."
Reading it felt like... a weight quietly sliding off my shoulders.
I don’t need to mold myself into shapes that don't fit.
I’m here to add something only I can bring.
Leaving it here, in case it offers you a breath of relief too. 🤍
#SocialAnxiety #InvisibleStruggles #MentalHealthAwareness #IntrovertLife #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #InnerWorld #AuthenticLiving #HighlySensitivePerson #SelfAcceptance #HealingJourney #YouAreNotAlone #EmotionalWellness #PermissionToFeel #PersonalGrowth #AnxietySupport
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